Small Sample Sizes Make the Best NBA Stats (2022-23 Edition!)

(Ed. note: yeah, I know this is a day late. Illness on the weekend is no fun.) Through games of October 23, 28 teams in the NBA have played three games. Milwaukee and Dallas have each played two. And with such a small sample size, we see some strange stats. The Law of Averages hasn’t taken over yet. So let’s take a look at unlikely and unsustainable and downright absurd stats. We’ll compare them to the NBA record book while we’re at it. That’s right. It’s the Fourth Annual Small Sample Sizes Make the Best NBA Stats. The Unbeatens Boston, …

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The Washington Wizards Worst Season: 2009

The Washington Wizards have been consistently pretty bad since their glory days in the 1970s. But in the late 1990s and early 2000s, the Wizards were bad even by their own low standards. Twice in the aughts, the Wiz went 19-63. Their first lost season came in 2001, the nadir so bad that it prompted Michael Jordan to give up on being an executive for a couple of years and instead try a comeback. But 2009 is a special kind of dreadful. Indeed, the record tells only a small part of the story. The rest of the story is told …

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The Utah Jazz Worst Season: 1980

The Utah Jazz, stretching back to their founding in New Orleans in 1974, have on occasion been bad. But as franchises go, since the team finally figured it out in 1984 and had their first winning season, Utah’s been incredibly successful. Indeed, the worst season the team’s put up in Salt Lake City still featured 24 wins. The worst season they posted in New Orleans was 23-59. And that was their expansion 1974-75 campaign. Let’s look at what “not really that bad” looks like. That 24-58 season in 1980 deserves a deep dive. The On-Court Record Utah started out awful. …

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The Toronto Raptors Worst Season: 1998

The Toronto Raptors suffered a season of hilarious badness in their third year in existence. And no, they didn’t draft a guy named Hilarious Badness. Although that would be a great name if Key and Peele ever do a revival of their East-West College Bowl sketch. The badness in question has everything you love in a bad season. Massive losing streaks. Net Ratings that would be the worst in the league in any year except the one you’re discussing. A great reward in the next year’s draft. Coaches who saw their careers derailed. So let’s not waste any time. While …

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The San Antonio Spurs Worst Season: 1997

The San Antonio Spurs, all the way back to their ABA days, have been one of the sport’s most consistently excellent franchises. Before 2021, the team had never missed the playoffs in consecutive years. They fell short in 1973, 1984, 1987, 1989, and 1997. Which, in turn, means their three straight playoff misses account for 37.5 percent of all the team’s missed playoff years going all the way back to the founding of the ABA in 1967. And while you can (and I will, later) dump on Gregg Popovich for not retiring as the sport has passed him by, let’s …

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The Sacramento Kings Worst Season: 2009

The Sacramento Kings have been the NBA’s nomads for 73 years. They started life as the Rochester Royals. Incredibly, the BAA/NBA managed to put two teams in that Western New York Syracuse/Rochester market and make it work throughout the 1950s. The Royals moved to Cincinnati in 1957 and put together a nice run with Oscar Robertson, but they never quite got over the hump into the first rank of NBA franchises. They were outclassed first by the Lakers and Hawks and then, realigned east, by the Celtics and 76ers. Finally, after Big O left, Cincinnati sank into the abyss, fan …

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The Portland Trail Blazers Worst Season: 1972

The Portland Trail Blazers, in 2022, posted their worst season in 16 years, going just 27-55. They head into the 2023 season hoping to rebuild quickly enough to get Damian Lillard one last chance at a deep playoff and possible title run. It may not (probably will not) happen this year, but hope springs eternal. That “worst season in 16 years” means 2006, a year Portland went 21-61. That year tied for the second-worst mark in team history and represented the worst record in 33 years, going all the way back to 1973 and their third year in existence. Now …

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The Phoenix Suns Worst Season: 2019

The Phoenix Suns are the latest demonstration of one of the core principles of the NBA. Specifically, “if your franchise is hot garbage and all hope seems lost, acquire Chris Paul.” The New Orleans Hornets/Pelicans had their worst season in 2005. They drafted Paul with the fourth pick in the ’05 draft and posted the franchise’s only 50-win season in 2008. The Los Angeles Clippers were a garbage fire for decades. They acquired Paul in 2012, immediately went 40-26, and made the playoffs. They’d done so in just one of the previous 14 seasons. The Suns bottomed out in 2019. …

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The Philadelphia 76ers Worst Season: 1973

The 2015-16 Philadelphia 76ers, at 10-72, posted the second-worst 82-game record in NBA history. It was, by any metric, about as bad as it is possible to be. But it wasn’t the worst record in franchise history. In the 1972-73 campaign, the Philadelphia 76ers posted a 9-73 record, to this day the only failure to reach ten wins in 82 tries in the 54-year history of the 82-game schedule. This is a franchise that had won a title in 1967. Indeed, stretching back to their days as the Syracuse Nationals, they had made the playoffs every year between their inception …

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The Orlando Magic Worst Season: 2013

The Orlando Magic have been one of the NBA’s worst teams over the past 10 seasons. In seven of those years, they have failed to win 30 games, and even though one of those was a COVID-truncated 72-game season, 21-51 still would’ve required them to win nine out of ten in an 82-game season. And that was never realistic. This year, Orlando faces 2,000 to 1 odds of winning the title. Face it, 2023 may become the worst season this team has ever had. But this isn’t about the future. We have to consider what’s already happened. And since Orlando …

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