Breakfast Special: RIP, My Favorite Weird Stat Story

The Charlotte Hornets got absolutely pantsed by the Golden State Warriors Sunday, losing 137-90 in the third-biggest margin of defeat by any team all year—Boston beat Chicago 133-77 on December 8, while the Mavericks beat the Jazz 118-68 on November 14. It was Golden State’s fifth win of the season by at least 30 points, while Charlotte has now lost five games by at least that margin. It also busted Charlotte’s net point differential to minus-1.6 per game, pretty much assuring once and for all that the Hornets will surrender more points than they score this season. And with that …

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Breakfast Special: Devin Booker, You Poor, Poor Fool

Devin Booker just had his third 50-point game of his career and his second in as many games Wednesday night in Phoenix. The Suns lost 124-121 to the Washington Wizards, dropping Booker to 0-3 in his career when he scores at least 50. Because Booker’s teammates are such a dumpster fire that we get yet another insane box score to gawk at the morning after. At least this time the Suns got five guys into double figures, but Booker was 19-of-29 shooting…and the rest of the team was 24-of-58 (41,4 percent.) The only reason this game was even as close …

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Breakfast Special: Hello Darkness, My Old Friend

The saying goes that “when it rains, it pours”, and one piece of bad news has a nasty habit of spiraling into a cavalcade of horrors, all hope for the future seeming to evaporate in one blow. And if you thought Nate McMillan‘s offense in Indiana was bad before, getting thumped 107-89 in Washington ought to show you just how much any sign of life in that ill-designed Dark Ages system was purely the doing of Victor Oladipo. Without Vic, the Pacers have looked utterly lost trying to score the basketball, and even though the defense isn’t a complete disaster …

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Bradley Beal Trade Rumors Are Getting Ridiculous

Sometimes you get a real gem of a made-up trade on Twitter that’s so far beyond-Thunderdome ludicrous that you’ve just got to roll your eyes, shake your head, and if you’ve got a national NBA column, write about it. Because this one’s a doozy: Who says no? (Poll following tweet) pic.twitter.com/AQ46UV0lJc — NBA Best Matchups (@NBABestMatchups) January 21, 2019 With all due respect to one of NBA Twitter’s more entertaining accounts, go home, you’re drunk. A rumor of Bradley Beal to the Sixers for Furkan Korkmaz, Wilson Chandler, Markelle Fultz, a second-rounder (2019), and a future first (2021) is silly …

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Breakfast Special: Build the Wall and Make the Lakers Pay for It

Sometimes, lack of trust in your garbage time guys isn’t all bad. John Wall played 42 minutes in a blowout that would, for any other team, have featured the G-League squad for the entire fourth quarter and ended up with 40 points on 16-of-27 shooting and 4-of-8 from long range as the Wizards beat the Lakers 128-110. Bradley Beal had 25 points on 10-of-24 (in 39 minutes), Jeff Green had 20 on 8-of-15, and Sam Dekker came off the bench to score 20 on 10-of-15. And in the “what are you even doing, Scott Brooks” category, Tomas Satoransky played 46 …

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Breakfast Special: A POR-NY Night At MSG

You get the feeling that with the Trail Blazers in town to play the Knicks, some cheeky fool in the promotions department could’ve come up with Adult Film Appreciation Night, because it was a POR-NY game! OK, OK, enough tomfoolery. Basketball may be better than sex, but not when it’s the Blazers playing the Knicks. Portland continued their first-place run in the Western Conference (!) with a 118-114 win at MSG, riding 31 points from CJ McCollum and 29 from Damian Lillard to the win in a game where two quarters were tied (the teams played level at 25 in …

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Are the 2018-19 Washington Wizards Good?

If you want to know what Salary Cap Hell looks like in the brave new world of the 2016 TV deal, the Washington Wizards are a fantastic example, the single worst salary cap disaster since the mid-aughts Knicks. John Wall, Bradley Beal, and Otto Porter make a combined $70 million. Wall’s extension, which kicks in come 2019-20, will pay him $37.8 million a year, and with the way his health has been, he seems vanishingly unlikely to be effective in that player-option year in 2022-23, when he’ll be in for $46.872 million. Beal is in the midst of a five-year, …

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Breakfast Special: Bojan Bogdanovic, Indiana Hero

April 20 may be associated with getting high, but nobody was higher than Pacers fans after Indiana pulled off yet another comeback from down 15 or more, this time trailing by as many as 17 at halftime before beating the Cleveland Cavaliers 92-90 to take a 2-1 series lead. In the process, they became the first team all season to beat the Cavs when Cleveland was ahead or tied after three quarters; Cleveland went 42-0 in the regular season and won Game 2 under those circumstances. Since the NBA started keeping track in 2000-01, only this year’s Cavs went undefeated …

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Sorting Out 2018 NBA East Playoffs Tiebreakers

With just a couple of weeks left in the season, now is the time to start considering playoff tiebreaker scenarios, as many of the NBA’s playoff matchups will be determined based on just who finishes with what record. With both the East and West a complete mess below the obvious top two (Toronto and Boston in the East, Houston and Golden State in the West), it’s time to take a look at the most likely playoff tangles…and just how they’d be resolved. While a lot can happen in seven or eight games, these are the most likely messes and how …

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Breakfast Special: Wizards 125, Red Claws 124

Just a day before the Ides of March, the Wizards were Julius Caesar and the Celtics’ B-unit were the Roman Senators…and unlike Caesar, the Wiz escaped with their lives, though they nearly lost the kind of game that even a lottery team wouldn’t lose. The Wiz won 125-124 despite the Celtics not having Kyrie Irving, Al Horford, Jaylen Brown, Daniel Theis, Marcus Smart, and the gone-for-the-season Gordon Hayward. Bradley Beal played 47 of the 58 minutes of the double-overtime game, scoring 34 points on 14-of-27 and leading a DC Family that managed to lose the field goal percentage battle (Boston …

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