NBA Breakfast Special: Bradley Beal Eats All the Voodoo Donuts

The Washington Wizards recovered nicely from the pure embarrassment of getting smacked by the Utah Jazz on Monday, and on a SEGABABA in Portland, Bradley Beal went for 51 points, nearly half the output of the 106-92 win over the Trail Blazers. Also, I don’t want to hear a word out of you Oregonians, because there is no UGH in donut. Even if it says so on the sign. You can put golden arches on a Jack in the Box, it’s still a Jack in the Box, and you can put three unnecessary letters in donut, it’s still dunkable for …

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NBA Breakfast Special: Black Friday Observations

Rather than do highlights on this Black Friday edition of the Breakfast Special, we’re going to instead take a look at the things in the NBA that make the least sense, the “something weird is going to happen before Christmas” predictions that you can take to the bank. Why? Because I’m as turkeyed out as the rest of you lot; I took yesterday off, and who really wants to see highlights of two-day-old games? Let’s begin with… The Oklahoma City Thunder, A Third-Place Team With an Eighth-Place Record Oklahoma City is 8-9 through 17 games, and that just makes no …

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NBA Breakfast Special: Milwaukee’s Eric Bledsoe Problem

So, as would inevitably be the case, Lonzo Ball got himself a triple double, scoring 19 points on 7-of-12 shooting, dishing 13 assists, and pulling down 12 rebounds in a loss to the Bucks on Saturday. He became the youngest in NBA history to do it, at 20 years and 15 days, surpassing LeBron James. But have you noticed that Ball has had exactly two good games this season, and both involved his being guarded by Eric Bledsoe? After making Ball look like Russell Westbrook twice, you have to wonder if Bledsoe isn’t either washed up or else so disengaged …

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NBA Breakfast Special: The Pistons’ Letdown Game

When the Detroit Pistons had a big win over the Golden State Warriors on the road, it was only a matter of time before they suffered one hell of a letdown game. Sure enough, that deal with the devil came due on Halloween night, as Staples Center became a house of horrors against the Los Angeles Lakers. LA shredded the Pistons for a .495/.462/.786 slash line, shot 14 free throws to the Pistons’ 3, won the rebound battle 53-44 and the assist battle 30-21, and watched HERO OF SERBIA get a DNP-CD in a 20-point game (free the Boban!) Avery …

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NBA Breakfast Special: Lonzo Can Into Space

by Fox Doucette Can we talk about Lonzo Ball? And by talk, I mean point and laugh as his NBA debut involved just three points on 1-of-6 shooting and a pair of missed free throws in 29 minutes. For those conoisseurs of Big Baller Hate, this was pretty much a best-case scenario, wasn’t it? Short of breaking his ankle, tearing his ACL, or getting slammed face first into a basket support by a pissed-off DeAndre Jordan, that is. Yes, he had nine rebounds, and Lonzo does look to have the tools to be a very capable defender (he put up …

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Is This 2018 NBA Team Any Good?: Oklahoma City Thunder

by Fox Doucette Russell Westbrook got himself some friends to play ball with this year. A team that featured Westbrook and nobody the goddamn hell else managed to win 47 games despite being the worst three-point shooting team (a cover-your-eyes 32.7 percent), completely incapable of getting an assist that Westbrook didn’t dish out (they were 25th in the league overall, and don’t blame the counting stat on pace; they were ninth-fastest in the Association), and exceptionally turnover-prone (19th in turnover percentage.) On the bright side, they were fantastic at offensive rebounds (grabbing a league-high 27.9 percent of that cavalcade of …

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