Image via Bob Evans Restaurants

Breakfast Special: LOLeBron

Man, any night the Lakers lose is a good night. I wear my fan loyalties on my sleeve around here, and the simple fact is that I grew up in Boston, rooted for Larry Bird when I was a kid in the ’80s, and fully intend to teach my own children someday to recoil in instant disdain from anything purple and gold. So for the San Antonio Spurs to march into Staples Center, get 37 points from LaMarcus Aldridge and 32 from DeMar DeRozan, and overcome those exact same point totals from Kyle Kuzma and LeBron James, respectively, in a …

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The NBA Can Kill College Basketball and the G-League Is the Murder Weapon

As a sports fan and an NBA guy, I generally find that anything that moves toward finally cutting the diseased heart out of college sports is a good thing, whether it’s minor league baseball long ago rendering college baseball completely irrelevant or Canadian junior hockey doing the same to college puck. And with everything that’s been in the news about college basketball over the past couple of years, and the plantation purgatory that is the one-and-done rule, it is long past time that someone takes NCAA basketball out back behind the woodshed and puts a bullet in its brainstem once …

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Breakfast Special: White Men Don’t Have to Jump

When Boban Marjanovic got a bigger role in Los Angeles with the Clippers, we celebrated the move here at Breakfast Special HQ. When one of his dunks rocks NBA Twitter to its chirping core? Well, that leads the Special. Behold, HERO! OF! SERBIA! BOBAN throws down the FIERCE slam! 🔨#ClipperNation #KiaTipOff18 pic.twitter.com/NnQsDVci4t — NBA (@NBA) October 18, 2018 White men can’t jump? White men don’t have to jump! Did we mention Boban had 18 points and 8 rebounds in just 18 minutes of play? Boban Marjanovic puts up 18 PTS, 8 REB for the @LAClippers at home. #ClipperNation #KiaTipOff18 pic.twitter.com/ozGx9M8PlP …

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Breakfast Special: LeBron James Still Owns Lance Stephenson

It looked like Lance Stephenson had finally put one over on LeBron James… LANCE FINALLY GOT LEBRON TO BITE!! pic.twitter.com/i8Iog10KHx — Agent of NBA Chaos (@World_Wide_Wob) April 23, 2018 …until LeBron explained that he just got “caught by the teacher” for getting the little pest off of him. LeBron on the late technical he got when Lance followed him to the bench: pic.twitter.com/LQwkvKQdc4 — Agent of NBA Chaos (@World_Wide_Wob) April 23, 2018 And Lance holding the ball up like the Statue of Liberty’s torch when he got a jump ball on LeBron late in the game… This is it. We …

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Breakfast Special: Weekend Game 1 Roundup

It was a busy weekend in the NBA as the playoffs got up and running, and if the saying holds true that “a series doesn’t start until the road team wins a game”, well, a couple of series just got started, including one blowout… Pacers 1, LeBron’s Impenetrable First-Round Reputation 0 LeBron James is supposed to be this magical superman who can singlehandedly will a terrible team to somehow not be terrible even though he was on and played all 82 games for that team. And with the Pacers winning 98-80 in Cleveland on Sunday, the biggest margin of the …

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2018 NBA Western Conference Playoff Preview and Finals Pick

We’ve done the East, now it’s time for the West. As per usual, these are much more gut-instinct heavy than the usual fare around here, because if history has taught me anything, it’s that you can do a bunch of extra work, crunch a bunch of numbers, and be just as wrong, because the playoffs are just a completely different beast from the regular season. Round 1 HOUSTON vs. MINNESOTA – Rockets in 5 I’d have said sweep here, but reportedly Chris Paul is battling some injuries sustained late in the season, which means that the unbeatable triumvirate of CP3, …

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2018 NBA Eastern Conference Playoff Predictions

The playoffs are upon us, and things tip off Saturday. Which means it’s time to make wild guesses that are almost assuredly going to be wrong, but at least there’s no Maryland-Baltimore County around to render the entire thing utterly silly. In a seven-game series, that just would’ve meant Virginia in five. We’ll start today with the Eastern Conference, do the West later this morning, then go ahead and stick the Finals pick at the end of that West article, so please do stay tuned. This is also going to be a lot more free-flowing and gut-based than your usual …

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All-Everything Postseason 2018 NBA Team Awards

Most of what I’ve had to say about these guys, I said in my companion piece about the end-of-season awards. I will say this: Picking All-Defense is so subjective and I can only watch so many games, so there is a lot of shot-in-the-dark and a lot of “in case of argument, let Basketball Reference be the final arbiter” that I’m convinced there’s no way to try and rank defenders on anything other than reputation, fan bias, or woefully inadequate counting stats like steals and blocks. Defensive Rating tends to overweight players on good defensive teams. Steals and blocks are …

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Official Pace and Space 2018 NBA Awards

We, sadly, do not get an official NBA media ballot here at Mystery Ship Studios, but if we did, you can bet we wouldn’t make head-up-the-rear-end decisions on who to give the major NBA awards to. Which, besides being a “shut up about Donovan Mitchell” argument, informs the philosophy behind this not-at-all-slapped-together completely personal-bias-laden seriously I’m a Pacers fan and if you haven’t figured that out by now you will before we’re done here list of the 2018 NBA awards. Where applicable, these will be as they are presented on NBA.com/official. Meaning top 5 for the MVP and top 3 …

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Image via Bob Evans Restaurants

Breakfast Special: Saved the Best for Last

OK, so maybe only one of the three winner-take all games for playoff position was an instant classic. The Spurs seemed perfectly content to punt the Pelicans game so they could finish seventh and get a Stephen Curry-less Golden State team in the first round and the Portland/Utah winner in the second. Meanwhile, in Rip City, Donovan Mitchell was so utterly putrid that I don’t care how many seasons Ben Simmons did or didn’t sit on the bench for, Mitchell fluffed his chance to make his Rookie of the Year case on national television. But the Nuggets, man…talk about dying …

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