Confessions of a James Harden Hater

I hate watching James Harden play basketball. With every fiber of my basketball aesthetics-loving, flow and pace-worshipping, strong sense of fair play-having NBA fan soul, I hate every single goddamn thing about James Harden’s game. I want Chris Paul to score 40 a game against the Warriors, singlehandedly carry the Rockets to a win in seven games, then when LeBron James does to Harden what Michael Jordan did first to Charles Barkley in 1993 and then again to Karl Malone in 1997, embarrassing him for having the audacity to win the MVP despite not being the best player in the …

Read More

Breakfast Special: James Harden Is On Another Level

James Harden has done something that your humble columnist hasn’t managed to pull off in thousands of hours of playing NBA Live and 2K over the years. That’s how utterly ridiculous his 60-point triple-double, which broke the record held by Russell Westbrook (and previously held for almost 50 years by Wilt Chamberlain) for points while recording a triple-double in a game. The perhaps even wilder thing about all this is that Harden did it in 46 minutes of a relatively slow-paced game; the Rockets’ 114-107 win over Orlando was played at an estimated pace of only 93.3, snail-like by today’s …

Read More

Breakfast Special: James Harden Space Program

Happy New Year, folks, even if it’s not as happy as it could’ve been for eight NBA fanbases. Let’s get right to it: James Harden‘s Hamstring Goes Kerbal Anyone who’s played “Kerbal Space Program” knows how easy it is to have rockets blow up. And the Houston Rockets? Well, they sure looked like a Kerbal rocket for the last five games before the Lakers, a salve for any wound, came to town. It took double overtime. It took 40 points from Harden despite the Beard leaving the game with a strained hamstring. And it took a bizarre stat line where …

Read More

Breakfast Special: The TNT Double Digit Comeback Spectacular

The Philadelphia 76ers blew a double-digit fourth-quarter lead, turning an 88-74 with 11:11 to go into a 93-88 deficit less than five minutes later. The weirdest part of that 19-point run? It wasn’t even the biggest comeback in the NBA Thursday…on national television. That’s right, because the Boston Celtics came back from 26 down in the second quarter to win a game in which the Houston Rockets did not trail in the first 47 minutes and 57 seconds of play. James Harden committed two offensive fouls on Houston’s final two possessions, and Al Horford had the wildest finish an individual …

Read More

Breakfast Special: Harden Your Heart Kuzma Mind Is Blown

We begin this most blessed Solstice with tribute to the gods…the Basketball Gods, who saw fit to bless mortalkind with the ultimate setup for a terrible pun in the headline. James Harden scored 51 points, but the Houston Rockets fell in defeat for only the fifth time this season. Chris Paul left the game with an apparent injury, Clint Capela missed the game with a left heel bruise, and a hotshot highly-touted Lakers rookie scored 38 points and powered his team to a 122-116 win. Seriously, how about Kyle Kuzma inserting himself into the Rookie of the Year conversation over …

Read More

NBA Breakfast Special: James Harden Clowns Lonzo Ball

For the Houston Rockets, showing Lonzo Ball what a real NBA star looks like was always going to be on the menu. For James Harden to play the best defense anyone has yet played on Flea Market Westbrook all season? Wait…did Mike D’Antoni really just get Harden to buy in so completely that now he’s emerging as a legit NBA defender, in gross contravention of his reputation? Was that just a thing that happened? Ball was 0-of-4 from the field. His only two points came on his sole trip to the free throw line. And Harden, with Ball trying to …

Read More

NBA Breakfast Special: Black Friday Observations

Rather than do highlights on this Black Friday edition of the Breakfast Special, we’re going to instead take a look at the things in the NBA that make the least sense, the “something weird is going to happen before Christmas” predictions that you can take to the bank. Why? Because I’m as turkeyed out as the rest of you lot; I took yesterday off, and who really wants to see highlights of two-day-old games? Let’s begin with… The Oklahoma City Thunder, A Third-Place Team With an Eighth-Place Record Oklahoma City is 8-9 through 17 games, and that just makes no …

Read More