Breakfast Special: The Warriors-Cavaliers Inevitability

There are two ways you can interpret the Cleveland Cavaliers’ completing their defense of their home court in Games 3 and 4, including Monday’s 111-102 win to draw the series level at two games apiece. Either the Celtics, who have been outstanding at home but utterly putrid on the road in these playoffs (they are now just 1-6 away from Boston in the postseason while they’re 9-0 at home), are headed toward a seven-game series win in which the home team wins all seven games, and therefore there is no reason to panic or even to find anything we’ve seen …

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Breakfast Special: The Conference Finals Have Been Terrible

Over the weekend, our reward as fans for patiently awaiting the return of the NBA conference finals was…two anticlimactic blowouts, one that kept the narrative alive for two titans of the East trading blows as they defend their home floors, the other a reinforcement of the idea that Mike D’Antoni is the Marty Schottenheimer of basketball coaches and Daryl Morey, like Billy Beane in baseball, has a secret system that doesn’t work in the playoffs. Beginning in the East, Saturday featured Cleveland just plain kicking the crap out of Boston 116-86. The game got out of hand almost from the …

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Breakfast Special: Warriors In 6. Not Warriors In 4.

By definition, in a six-game series, the losing team wins two games. More importantly, the losing team, usually the favorite in the series who starts at home, wins those two games at home. Either they take the first two games, lose two on the road, come back home, and everything goes sideways in Game 5, or they lose one of the first two games at home, fall down 3-1 on the road, pull one back, then ultimately succumb to the enemy’s fans going bonkers and the atmosphere of a team knowing they’re toast if the series gets pushed to seven …

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Breakfast Special: LeBron James Isn’t Making the Finals Himself

Before this series, I predicted that the Cavs would win in six, and that the road game that proved decisive would be Game 5; Cleveland, losing the first two on the road, figuring it out at home, and then having LeBron James drop a LeBron Game on the Boston faithful before the Cavs completed their unusual—in the sense that LeBron is on a G-League team yet manages to power them by himself—Finals run, whereupon they’d get stomped in five by Golden State again, the way they were last year and might well have been in 2016 had the league not …

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Breakfast Special: Time to Panic, Rockets Fans

It is one thing to read too much into a Game 1 when it doesn’t tell us anything about the relative strengths of the teams, with one team winning big, but on its home floor against a player notorious for treating a seven-game series as a boxing match, feeling out the opponent in the early rounds. It is another thing for a team to go into an opponent’s house, punch them square in the mouth, knock out a couple of teeth, and then dare them to bite back against a title defense by the champion. And that’s why the Houston …

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Breakfast Special: Celtics 1, LeBron James 0

OK, Cleveland, everybody panic, the series is over, the Celtics punked LeBron James so hard that 15 years of his legacy are all wiped off the board and he’s now worse than Smush Parker on the all-time list. Or, y’know, let’s try and keep this in perspective as the Boston Celtics won Game 1 at home, doing what they were supposed to do in a seven-game series while simultaneously casting just the first die in a dance that LeBron’s been doing for seven straight and nearly an eighth straight Finals appearance. LeBron himself even said that Game 1’s about feeling …

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Breakfast Special: Conference Finals Preview and Breakfast Recipes

The conference finals start Sunday in the NBA, with the Boston Celtics and Cleveland Cavaliers tipping off a seven-game series as the Basketball Gods intended, even if the drama we anticipated before the season went up in a puff of injuries and placate-the-King trades midway through the season. So we don’t get Kyrie Irving playing against his former team, nor do we get Isaiah Thomas playing against his. Nor do we get the frontcourt matchup for the ages we’d hoped to see from Gordon Hayward and LeBron James. Nope. Instead, we get Gordon Who and Kyrie Who, aka Jayson Tatum …

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Breakfast Special: Jayson Tatum, Playoff Rookie of the Year

Sure, the Rookie of the Year in the regular season, the one they actually hand out a trophy for, came down to a two-horse race between Ben Simmons, aka the Second Coming of Magic Johnson, and Donovan Mitchell, whose case rested on Simmons having spent a year around NBA practice facilities with NBA team doctors and an NBA environment and therefore wasn’t a real rookie because even though it was his first year playing, it was his second year in the league. Meanwhile, Jayson Tatum gets the last laugh, as he was probably the consensus third-best rookie in basketball when …

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Breakfast Special: James Harden Stinks Out the Joint (plus Dubs)

Let’s just say Alvin Gentry isn’t about to surpass his mentor Steve Kerr anytime soon. The Golden State Warriors closed out their five-game series with the New Orleans Pelicans Tuesday night, winning 113-104 behind a 36-19 third quarter that extended their lead to 20 with one quarter remaining. And even though the Pellies gave a good account of themselves to close the final margin down to nine, the fact remains this one was never in real doubt. Anthony Davis had 36 points and Jrue Holiday had a triple-double, scoring 27 points, pulling 10 rebounds, and dishing 11 assists. Trouble was, …

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Breakfast Special: DeMar DeRozan Is Not A Star

Can we officially put to bed the idea that DeMar DeRozan is a genuine All-Star caliber shooting guard? Like, once and for all, please? If the disgrace that was the Raptors getting clobbered by LeBron James and friends on the Cleveland Cavaliers didn’t make it abundantly clear, DeRozan is not a player for the modern league. He shoots midrange jumpers, can’t guard elite players, and disappears when it matters most. Which, come to think of it, the same could be said for Kyle Lowry, minus the midrange jumpers part. He’s perfectly content to miss threes like a proper 2018 overrated …

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