Indiana Pacers forward Paul George has been included in credible trade rumors that would have him sent to his hometown Los Angeles Lakers in exchange for Julius Randle, Jeremy Clarkson (the television presenter, who will report the weather whilst driving the road between Indianapolis and Evansville very fast in a European mid-engine supercar and who is not to be confused with Jordan Clarkson), a vintage 1979 Magic Johnson rookie card, five lessons in the sky hook taught to Myles Turner by Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, and a bunch of archival footage of Frank Perdue making chicken commercials.
Oh man, it feels good to report fake news for clicks. No wonder everyone and I do mean every goddamn one of my colleagues in NBA news reporting is doing it.
Nah, this is the Breakfast Special, and that means basketball highlights, and with the season resuming tonight, let's take this moment to recap the very best of the 2016-17 season so far, with a little bit of whatever YouTube and Twitter have to offer thrown in as a bonus.
Let's start by kicking it old school:
Now we'll go to official league sources for the best dunks of October and November...
Your columnist broke his ankle in January (don't worry, I'm better now), but my ankle-breaker at the hands of a King County Metro bus and a frozen patch of Kent, Washington sidewalk has nothing on the ankle-breaking going on in the Association:
How 'bout a little “get that weak stuff outta here”:
And it wouldn't be a Breakfast Special without Shaqtin', so let's go ahead and throw in the big flops...
...and the worst fundamentals:
Terrence Ross is the best and the worst:
And finally, Nate Robinson got tired of slinging chicken and waffles in Seattle, so he headed on out to Delaware:
Normal service resumes tomorrow, folks. About damn time, I was going through withdrawal symptoms. Thanks for reading!
The games resume Thursday, but you want your basketball fix today. Well, hoop junkies, we feel you, and we got you covered. Now's a great time to get caught up on the very best of Pace and Space from our entire roster of writers. We've all put some classics out there, so here you go:
P.D. Parr's fantastic historical articles have given some old-school flavor to the site, but nothing he's done has been quite so important in the broader narrative of sports in society than his two-part piece right at the beginning of Black History Month, and with a protest storm erupting over President Trump's Muslim immigration ban, than the stories of Luol Deng and Thon Maker. They carry on Manute Bol's legacy of Sudanese NBA players.
Meanwhile, everyone wants to compare Steph Curry to guys like Ray Allen and Reggie Miller, but how about Pistol Pete Maravich? When you talk greats of the game, you kick it old-school.
Winter Is Coming
When I got a message on Twitter that Brad Winter, former owner of the excellent Corner Three blog, wanted to write for Pace and Space, the only question about publishing his articles was “when can you start?”
Since that point, we've had prescient predictions like Vivek Ranadive doing something incredibly stupid at the trade deadline (although nobody's quite sure how Dell Demps came out looking like the smart guy) in Brad's trade-predictions roundup.
It's that time again, where there are no games to fill your world with highlights, but we've still got content slots to fill, so we'll take today to bring you highlights...of people making breakfast! That's right, it's the annual Breakfast Special In Which We Actually Talk About Breakfast 2017 Spectacular Or Something!
WE HAVE THE MEATS
How about some homemade breakfast sausage?
Or making homemade bacon from pork belly?
Or hell, since you're taking that skin off the pork belly, you can just go ahead and make some pork rinds for lunch later, because from snout to tail, there ain't nothin' better than a pig for meat:
EGGS THREE WAYS
How about some eggs Benedict the Gordon Ramsay way?
Or fried eggs and scrambled eggs a la Alton Brown?
That's right, kids, waffles are better than pancakes, because you make little maple syrup swimming pools in those deep grooves and also you sing O Canada as you pour the syrup unless you're from Vermont in which case you sing “Sanders uber alles, uber alles in die Welt” or something. I don't know...if Vermont seceded from the Union, what would their national anthem be?
Something About Basketball Because That's the Kind of Site This Is
Buddy Hield's return to New Orleans will be fun when the Pellies play the Kings again, huh?
MUFFINS BECAUSE CAKE FOR BREAKFAST
I can already hear those of you in the South calling this guy out as a heretic for not using proper buttermilk. We're not all as fortunate as to have God's perfect baking ingredient in our refrigerators. On the bright side, women and LGBT+ are people where we come from, so... (sorry, couldn't help myself, tweaking you bathroom-law lot after Charlotte lost the All-Star Game over HB2.)
Dr. J at Rucker Park, because why not?
Enjoy the day, folks, and thanks for reading! We'll keep you company until the games come back, don't you worry 'bout a thing.