Breakfast Special: Klay Thompson Just Made Another 3

We’re getting confirmed reports, yes, confirmed reports of three-point detonations in Chicago. We’ve lost contact with our affiliate stations… Klay Thompson set an NBA record, hitting 14 three-pointers in a game on 24 (!) attempts, and what this mostly means is that Warriors coach Steve Kerr set a precedent whereby the next time Stephen Curry has eight or nine threes in the first half, even if it’s a blowout, Kerr’s going to have to let him try and go for 15 lest he be accused of playing favorites between his two sharpshooters. I mean, we knew Klay was going to …

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2018-19 NBA Season Predictions You’ll Laugh at Me for in April

The NBA is back tonight, with the Celtics and 76ers tipping off the season on TNT, followed by the Warriors against the sadly-lacking-Russell Westbrook Thunder in the nightcap. But before we get to that, let’s get through the formalities of forecasting the season, the playoffs, the major awards, and everything else that’s gonna be wildly inaccurate and possibly also contradict the Busted/Plausible/Confirmed team previews I’ve already done on here because those were written with great care and effort and this is being written with the firm knowledge that nobody will read it and I’d be just as wrong if I …

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Are the 2018-19 Golden State Warriors Good?

Yes. Next question. The question here is not really “are the Warriors good” but “will the Warriors dog most of the season, come in under the projected win total while going 7-10 in their last 17 games, turn it on in the playoffs again, and win the title, or will they try to go 82-0, come close, and then blow a 3-1 lead in the Finals?” They signed DeMarcus Cousins. They still have Stephen Curry, Klay Thompson, Draymond Green, and Kevin Durant. In 2K19 with fatigue and substitutions and injuries turned off, they go 82-0 every time. Their bench is …

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Are the 2018-19 Los Angeles Clippers Good?

In 2018, the NBA experienced a quantum shift as a player consistently among the league leaders in Win Shares Per 48 Minutes, a fan favorite, but a guy who some folks consider overrated, traveled to Tinseltown to set the Staples Center ablaze with excitement. That’s right, folks…Boban Marjanovic, HERO! OF! SERBIA!, is on the Los Angeles Clippers. Which sets their floor for this season preview at Plausible by default. OK, fine, so they’ve got your columnist’s favorite player (yes, really) on their team. They’ve also got Tobias Harris, and they ended up shipping Blake Griffin out of town at a …

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Are the 2018-19 Los Angeles Lakers Good?

The Lakers went 35-47 last season with the worst point guard since Smush Parker as the primary ballhandler; Lonzo Ball earned the derisive nickname of “Dollar Store Russell Westbrook” from this here esteemed publication for his counting-stat-chasing YMCA chucking and selfish assists. This year, it looks like they got a professional basketball player to play point guard, as the early returns from the preseason have cast LeBron James in the role Kevin Garnett used to play in Boston for Rajon Rondo: LeBron picking up Rondo’s signature way to start games is amazing. pic.twitter.com/OmJ40qWa31 — Hoop Central (@TheHoopCentral) October 11, 2018 …

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Are the 2018-19 Sacramento Kings Good?

That the Sacramento Kings did not finish last in the Pacific Division in 2017-18 is a startling testament to just how bad the Phoenix Suns were. It is not, in any conceivable way, an endorsement of the quality of the Kings as a team. De’Aaron Fox had an atrocious rookie season. The Kings front office could not be trusted to organize a bake sale, never mind the day-to-day operations of an NBA team, and what is it with the implication that bake sales are always managed by incompetent people? Where’s the love for the stay-at-home moms taking an active role …

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Are the 2018-19 Phoenix Suns Good?

The Phoenix Suns finally hit rock bottom just in time for the DeAndre Ayton Sweepstakes in 2017-18. They should, if the NBA’s insistence—as in other sports—that parity is powered by the draft is true, be a much better team before too long. But “before too long” and “one year after going 21-61” aren’t quite the same thing. Is there anything on this roster than can actually contribute right away to getting off the floor? Or are we about to settle in for a Philadelphia Process in the Pacific Division? 2017-18 record: 21-61 2018-19 over/under: 28.5 Ayton All The Donuts Ayton …

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Are the 2018-19 Portland Trail Blazers Good?

The difference between third and ninth in the Western Conference in 2017-18 was three games, and it was the same difference between first and last in the Northwest Division. The Portland Trail Blazers beat the Utah Jazz on the last day of the season to wrap up the division title, and even though they summarily got smoked by the New Orleans Pelicans in the first round of the playoffs, the Blazers were a 49-win team and are getting their Big Three of Damian Lillard, C.J. McCollum, and Jusuf Nurkic back intact for another crack at NBA glory. The question remains, …

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Are the 2018-19 Oklahoma City Thunder Good?

What happens when a top-10 offensive and defensive team gets rid of one of the worst players in the league? The Thunder seek to answer that very question in 2019, as Carmelo Anthony is gone, off to Houston and taking his “talents” (and by talents I mean washed-up negative-VORP ass) with him. Melo had a -1.1 VORP, which translates to three wins taken off the board compared to slotting a G-League player into his roster spot. The Thunder won 48 games last year and Vegas has them down for 50.5 this year. Do the math, folks, this isn’t going to …

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Are the 2018-19 Utah Jazz Good?

The Jazz were my second-worst whiff in the 2017-18 previews. I never saw Donovan Mitchell coming, expected the team’s lack of offense to be unable to compensate for their great defense, and said that any missed time by Rudy Gobert would mean a sub-30-win season. Well, Mitchell was a genuine star as a rookie, the team was 16th in offense and 2nd in defense, and Gobert missed time (and the team was 19-28 when he came back) but went 29-6 in their last 35 games, a 68-14 82-game pace. No, they’re not going 68-14 this year. But it speaks to …

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